mikkacastelo

this are the baddest and the worstest sentence I has ever mades in my all lives!

April 19, 2010 

      Damn it. Physical Education class really never fails to ruin my life. Shoot. Sh*t. After I’ve accepted my seemingly defeat by deciding to attend my Physical Education III class which begins at 7:30 AM – which meant that I’d have to wake up four hours before to fix myself for school and for the traffic, and bring my set of regular class uniform which could get rumpled because it’s folded and it’s the only way I could bring it to school – this is what I get: Monday morning, I arrived at school 30 minutes before P. E. time, in complete P. E. uniform, only to realize after leaving the bus to walk to the school gate that I don’t have P. E. class on Mondays! I began to walk slower to have more time to think about the remedy for this stupidity before I completely arrive at the campus. The first question was, “What am I going to do?”. And then, I thought that I have to change my clothes very soon. The next question was, “Where am I going to change my clothes? It would be a shame if I change my clothes inside the school because there are no P. E. classes on Mondays for summer but the mall nearby was still close and there’s nowhere else nearby where I could change my clothes.” And then, one decision came to me like a sudden strike of lightning: I’m gonna walk faster to the school gate and change my uniform right away while there are still only few students, yet. I thought it was a wise decision and so I stuck to that because I didn’t have any more time to think of a better remedy; in fact, I suppose that’s the only thing I could really do in that situation. Thinking of another thing to do would only make me more disturbed when I know that what I’ve decided to do will still work in a way or another anyway. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure that it’s also what I’d end up doing. And so, I focused on the target; I talked straight to the guard to allow me to enter the building – because students in P. E. uniform are only allowed to enter the other building – and thank God she let me in. I immediately changed my uniform and then my life was back to normal again. For the meantime, I stayed in our organization’s office and wrote this while waiting for my class at 10:00 AM.

      OMG. New politics didn’t sound possible until I began hearing about Bangon Pilipinas presidential candidate Brother Eddie Villanueva’s plans if ever he wins the post. Though I’m still not sure about who I’m going to vote in the nearby elections, I never thought that Brother Eddie would be one of my… choices! Gee. Looks like he’s starting to make a mark in my mind. He sounds real and capable.

      For your 23rd birthday, I planned to do something that I’ve never done before because I’m not really skilled in that field. But for your 23rd birthday, I planned to try my luck and see if somehow I could get a high grade on my first try. After all, you’re special and what I’d planned is worth trying for someone like you. So, for your 23rd birthday, I planned to surprise you by showing up at your house three hours before the time that I’ve told to meet me. I know that it’s not really something very sweet and special – no cake, flowers, balloons, nothing really but myself – but in my case, I haven’t done anything like that, yet, in my years of living on Earth, and I suppose that that seemingly little something from me is kind of a little something that I don’t usually do and I would do it for you. 

      So this was how I made my plan. I asked for your youngest brother’s number from you reasoning that it’s only for emergency, but the truth is that I’d ask him to meet me at your house’s gate because obviously I can’t just enter your house without permission. You gave me Rudolph’s number, and then, without telling you – because it’s SUPPOSED TO BE a surprise – I sent him a text message containing the details of my plan. He replied and agreed with it. The afternoon before your birthday, I sent Rudolph a text message reminding him of the favor that I’d asked from him – to meet me at your house’s gate – early the next day which is your birthday. I thought that everything would be perfect – according to plan – then. I THOUGHT THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE ACCORDING TO PLAN until Rudolph sent me a text message saying that you’ve probably read my message to him - with the details of my plan – when he went outside and forgot to bring his phone with him. Then I remembered that earlier you’d been acting strange while we’re texting. You kept on saying how excited you were for your birthday and kept on laughing. 

      I really thought that I’d succeed in this plan for your 23rd birthday. I should’ve known that there’s really a big possibility of screwing up. I guess I’m just not really meant to even put one foot on this field. CRAP. I really wanted to do it perfectly for you, but you’ve already broken what I’m still just about to give you. Better luck for me on your 24th birthday. I love you. 

      CRAP! Crap is the first! The first is always for the dog! 

      SCREW WHAT I’VE SAID ABOVE. Your 23rd birthday came and I continued the plan and realized – with your conviction – that you didn’t really know about it. It was a tiring day, but it’s all definitely worth it.

      I’m still marveling at how things fell perfectly into place; how the pains I’d felt led me to someone too rare and special, and how that person too different from what I am came into my life and made me fall in love as if my heart was really made to fall in love with him. I don’t know what I’d done to deserve such a dream-come-true, but if ever this dream I’m into right now isn’t fully paid, yet, I’d gladly spend my whole life making myself deserving of what I have right now. 

      I used to dream silently of a man who would make me feel so special and would love me truly. You came to me and have made me feel beyond special and loved. I knew then that I was blessed the day that you came into my life. I had prayed for someone like you but I didn’t hope for it to come true because I don’t want to hope for the seemingly impossible for it would only hurt me upon realizing that I’m just hoping for nothing. But now that you’re already mine, I can attest that Someone really listens to our prayers and makes them come true in the best way and time for us. I remember that I was so hurt that I almost didn’t want to give love a second chance anymore, but now I’m just so thankful that I’d been courageous enough to have faith in you and look at me now, so happy living in a dream-come-true. When you came into my life, you’ve made me realize that a love far greater than the love that I knew exists. 

      God’s just so generous that when I asked Him to make my wounded heart numb so that I won’t feel any pain anymore, He gave me someone to heal it and give me the courage to make use of it again. This time, I’m using it wisely. Just a slight error won’t make me want to be numb anymore because I know that I’m defending something very special here.

      I was riding on a bus on my way to school when I saw an old man – a beggar, apparently – sleeping on the sidewalk with his head rested on his arm and his body curved like a fetus. Just a few steps from the old man was a barber shop wherein a man who was sitting pretty having his hair cut was reading a newspaper. 

      So, what’s in the news? Is the old man sleeping on the sidewalk just near you even featured on the paper you’re reading? It’s good to know about what’s happening everywhere else, but sometimes, the real deal’s just a few steps away from us and we don’t even do anything about it. We seek for information but we don’t use it. We just want to know and then everything ends there. It’s like we just want to be “in the know”, and not “in the scene”. Matthew 5:15 of the Holy Bible says that, “Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.” Let’s make use of what we know to help those who are in need. Or maybe I should say, let’s not make our knowledge useless.

      Living life as if you’re dying the next day and taking everything into account could make the present and the near future meaningful. But when you feel like everything’s already been said and done, the later future won’t be exciting anymore. When you feel like there’s nothing more to life, living would just be like waiting to die. Yeah, life’s so unpredictable that we sometimes lose a good opportunity in an instant. But if we try to look under the surface, failing only gives us a reason to try again and to look forward to a brighter tomorrow. Therefore, not rushing things would also give us plenty of room to do something worthwhile in the future. Makes sense, right?